Find a deeper truth about what's really going on
Feel heard and understood, wherever you both are, in your relationship.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy gives a safe map right into the heart of your issues, so you can slow down and unravel how you negatively see each other and then react.
The patterns of reaction you've developed have been needed for you to feel safe and whole, to live with the fears and longings that exist in you. And your partner’s strategies may clash with yours, making it feel like a battle between you.
What if both of your needs and ways of coping could be valued and supported, rather than them competing and ripping you apart? Might you feel hopeful again?
What relationships mean to me
I'm fascinated by relationships and have explored various types – including long-term, openly with multiple people, same and opposite sex pairings.
They've been core to my learning about myself, creating a "safe base" to take risks and explore life, stretching me to be truthful about my beliefs, desires and fears, and open to the others’ needs.
More on Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
This therapy has been created from a huge volume of scientific research over 25 years, led by Dr Sue Johnson in Canada, to understand how and why relationships do or don’t work.
The research closely examined the interactions of couples - some with strong connection and others experiencing distress. Clear and predictable patterns were seen about how connection is created and restored, and the steps that lead to breakdowns.
It is the best tested and most successful couples’ therapy available. Outcome tracking shows very high levels of satisfaction, and this is maintained in follow-ups several years later.
A plan for our work - how we rebuild connection
I listen and support you both in turn to describe your thoughts and feelings, taking time to make sure I've got it right. I'll help the other absorb this, with compassion for difficulties they hit in doing so.
After the first session where we all meet together, I'll have an individual session with each of you, though this may occasionally be delayed slightly.
We begin by together drawing a picture of where you're at in your relationship, the cycle that you keep repeating as you trigger each other. We next move towards stabilising and deescalating your interactions, gradually deepening understanding.
We build trust and confidence (including by exploring injuries to your bond), finding the courage and safety to be vulnerable together. Through this we create new and enduring bonds between you.
Conscious breakup and healing after separation
Couples counselling requires that you are both willing to change and are committed to working on yourself and your relationship.
However, either of you may decide that the authentic choice is to separate - our sessions could make that transition significantly more manageable.
You may then let go feeling more complete, with greater acceptance and understanding, honouring the loss. The awareness you gain can help you lay healthier foundations for future relationships.
My qualifications, experience and commitment
My Person-Centred work has huge overlaps with EFCT, and I'm also helped by 2 years of receiving EFCT myself, and my experienced EFCT supervisor. I bring sensitivity, insight, and a commitment to deep listening.
As a member of BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy) I work to their strong ethical framework.